You’re worth nothing more than your dishonesty. I hate you. - seven word series
you are a horse running alone
and he tries to tame you
compares you to an impossible highway
to a burning house
says you are blinding him
that he could never leave you
forget you
want anything but you
you dizzy him, you are unbearable
every woman before or after you
is doused in your name
you fill his mouth
his teeth ache with memory of taste
his body just a long shadow seeking yours
but you are always too intense
frightening in the way you want him
unashamed and sacrificial
he tells you that no man can live up to the one who
lives in your head
and you tried to change didn’t you?
closed your mouth more
tried to be softer
prettier
less volatile, less awake
but even when sleeping you could feel
him travelling away from you in his dreams
so what did you want to do love
split his head open?
you can’t make homes out of human beings
someone should have already told you that
and if he wants to leave
then let him leave
you are terrifying
and strange and beautiful
something not everyone knows how to love. Warsan Shire, “for the women who are difficult to love”
1. I’m lonely so I do lonely things
2. Loving you was like going to war; I never came back the same.
3. You hate women, just like your father and his father, so it runs in your blood.
4. I was wandering the derelict car park of your heart looking for a ride home.
5. You’re a ghost town I’m too patriotic to leave.
6. I stay because you’re the beginning of the dream I want to remember.
7. I didn’t call him back because he likes his girls voiceless.
8. It’s not that he wants to be a liar; it’s just that he doesn’t know the truth.
9. I couldn’t love you, you were a small war.
10. We covered the smell of loss with jokes.
11. I didn’t want to fail at love like our parents.
12. You made the nomad in me build a house and stay.
13. I’m not a dog.
14. We were trying to prove our blood wrong.
15. I was still lonely so I did even lonelier things.
16. Yes, I’m insecure, but so was my mother and her mother.
17. No, he loves me he just makes me cry a lot.
18. He knows all of my secrets and still wants to kiss me.
19. You were too cruel to love for a long time.
20. It just didn’t work out.
21. My dad walked out one afternoon and never came back.
22. I can’t sleep because I can still taste him in my mouth.
23. I cut him out at the root, he was my favorite tree, rotting, threatening the foundations of my home.
24. The women in my family die waiting.
25. Because I didn’t want to die waiting for you.
26. I had to leave, I felt lonely when he held me.
27. You’re the song I rewind until I know all the words and I feel sick.
28. He sent me a text that said “I love you so bad.”
29. His heart wasn’t as beautiful as his smile
30. We emotionally manipulated one another until we thought it was love.
31. Forgive me, I was lonely so I chose you.
32. I’m a lover without a lover.
33. I’m lovely and lonely.
34. I belong deeply to myself. 34 Excuses For Why We Failed At Love - Warsan Shire
I feel your grip on my heart loosening
while I’m still searching for yours. Heavy. - M.A.
If we meet again, I’ll walk away. Next Lifetime - seven word series - M.A.
It’s cold in my room.
I’m hiding under the covers
I can see my breath and all I wanna do
is lay down and hold you
Kiss you
And know you
Know your heart
Know your mind
Know your soul
And you’ll reintroduce yourself
With every lip locked blessing
Under these covers.
But you
I know you.
You’ve already got that covered. Believing Reality - M.A.
If my pain were poison
I can milk out of the fingertips
I used to trace your face
Each morning when you would wake,
I’d hope it would
burn every one of your organs
to dust.
But please,
don’t forget to gift me the ashes of your heart
For I’ll scatter them
Among the places I loved it most
In its memory
Amongst the places
I don’t wanna know ever again. to the one I should pushed away - M.A.
Your voice still echoes in my mind
As if you’re just down the dark, aging corridor
I hear you say “I’m going out.”
And I didn’t know that would be the last three word phrase I’d hear from your thin dark lips
Other than the one I’ve craved for months
The last embrace I’d feel from your needle scarred stitch ridden mahogany arms would be two weeks prior to the life-shattering moment that I’d forget the beauty of my young dreams.
You left me.
Again.
I sat for hours
Past the stages of crying myself to slumber
Or choking so much on my tears that I’d get sick and lie in your bed alone
leaving the scent of Alcanfor on your pillowcases
And watching M*A*S*H on your black and white Television
I remember my curtains vividly
The watercolor patterns of pink and blue and yellow and green flowers are tattooed on my mind
I watched the sun rise and beam through its seams
I don’t remember if I blinked.

“Don’t tell Myra.”
But I already overheard
They found you on the street
No one told me how it occurred
But I had hope that you’d return like you always do.
I had hope that I would get to once again run to you
be able to lay with you and clap with you and snap with you at that black and white television
whenever Maury would air someone’s life out for the Nation
And you’d eat your rice with your fried hard pork chops and salt.
I could run to you.
Instead
I walked
To the bed I couldn’t lay with you in
In a house that wasn’t our own
Dressed in a pink suit and hair that didn’t belong to you
Where your new red lips hid your dark thin ones
And matched the tear I could still see once bled from your eyelids
“You look just like her.”, they’d cry.
“She loved you.”, they’d choke.
I stared at you for moments that felt like years
I wished that you would have just woke up.
Your voice still echoes in my mind.
As if you’re just down the dark, aging corridor
I hear you say “I’m going out.”
Just like the last time.
“Ok.”
Just like the last time. M.A.

Writing is an art.
I scribe my expressions like
artists stroke their favorite colors
However
no word in the living language
will ever be able to capture the silhouette of your
detrimental
and sadistic temperament.

A note a day for the new year. And Junot Diaz. #writing #poetry #notes #isawthatsomewheretho #suckyhandwriting #happynewyear #junotdiaz
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