My father was the last person I wanted to explain my sexual orientation to simply because he is highly homophobic. But listening to her tell him…it made my whole world shut down. My blood boiled and froze at the same time. My skin tightened and I felt like I couldn’t breathe as each syllable of that Spanish phrase left her mouth and traveled through my fathers ears. His facial expression. I’ll never forget it. So much sadness. So much frustration. So much exhaustion.
I don’t even know how to explain how I feel.
I’ve heard my father say he would kill Qiiyana and hopes she dies simply because she was gay. He hated her. So I never told him because I knew that if he found out I was gay too, he’d disown me.
Being a member of this family is a disaster, yo.
“I wonder if my father will ever know how much I love him, and that I’ll never put another male or female above him…”
I’m actually looking forward to being around my family, eating, listening to music and enjoying each others company.
No, not my sisters. Fuck them bitches.
My cousins. Hopefully, they will all come.
And bring bud.
I can’t stand my siblings. I can’t stand being around them, talking to them, seeing their faces. I will never be good enough for anyone in this family. I know this for sure. No support. No guidance. No real love from these people. I am so over being here.
Boy, is he lucky that I care about my goddaughter having her father in her life…
I could have killed you years ago and smiled in my mug shot like a demon.
Don’t ask me if I love you. Love ain’t shit. Ask me if I’ll kill for you. Ask me if I’ll die for you.
Then they wanna get mad because I never wanna be home…
Y’all aren’t keeping me here everyday. Get off my dick.
This place is far from EVERYTHING.
And these dollar vans out here are INSANE.
It’s raining outside and this nigga wanna race the other vans and shit….
At least the house and the area is nice…despite it taking years to cross the street and shit.
I still didn’t get my furniture yet….
I wish my sanity wasn’t leaving me this week…