Doctor: Are you sexually active?
Me: Yes.
Doctor: Is there any chance you could be pregnant?
Me: No.
Doctor: Are you taking birth control pills?
Me: No.
Doctor: Do you use condoms?
Me: Nope.
Doctor (beginning to look concerned): Is there a medical reason you can't become pregnant?
Me: Not that I'm aware of.
Doctor (looking even more concerned, now speaking in a condescending tone): Then how do you know there's no chance of pregnancy?
Me: Last I checked, my female partner would have a hard time pulling that off.
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